Navigating Family Conflicts in Caregiving

Common Types of Family Caregiving Conflicts

Unequal Distribution of Responsibilities

When one family member takes on the primary caregiving role and others contribute less, there is a high risk of conflict. This imbalance often follows predictable patterns: daughters provide more care than sons, geographically closer relatives provide more care, and unmarried siblings often do more than married family members. The primary caregiver may feel resentful, while other family members may feel unfairly criticized.

Financial Disagreements

Conflict over money in caregiving scenarios runs deep. Disagreements about what kind of care is necessary and how to divide costs can be challenging to resolve, especially when family members have differences in income. Family members may become suspicious of each other when one has control over the care recipient’s finances, especially if the care recipient has significant assets. If a care recipient’s resources are limited, the stress of additional expenses can add fuel to disagreements.

Differing Opinions on Care Decisions

Family members often disagree about what care their loved one should receive, with where the care recipient should live is often top of this list. However, it’s not only caregivers who may disagree. Care recipients often come into conflict with their families over their care needs, and again, where they should live is often a point of contention. Healthcare workers can also become involved if they feel a care recipient’s wellbeing is being compromised.

Old Dynamics Resurface

Unhealthy relationship dynamics often resurface under stressful circumstances. The “black sheep” of the family may find themselves on the outs again, while the eldest sibling may feel forced into the role of leader. Old wounds can also reopen in caregivers’ relationships with the care recipient.

Emotional Strain

Everyone processes challenging situations differently. It’s not uncommon for family members to be in denial about a serious condition, while others may imagine the worst. Emotional strain can make people reactive, turning minor disagreements into major blowouts. Parent caregivers for children with disabilities, illness or chronic conditions often struggle to work through their feelings together, even aiming their distress at each other.