Caregiving From A Distance: The Proximity Challenge

Geographic distance complicates the demanding role of being a family caregiver. In Canada, many families are spread hundreds or even thousands of kilometers apart and must navigate caregiving from a distance.

Exactly how many Canadian caregivers are within commuting distance of their care recipient is unclear: in 2007, Statistics Canada reported the percentage of caregivers who were more than an hour away as 22%. Since then, many more Canadians have migrated to urban centres, likely increasing this number as well as the distance.

When it’s not possible to live close to a loved one in need of support, how can families manage?

The Challenges of Caregiving From a Distance

Many families do manage to navigate long-distance caregiving successfully. There are some specific challenges to consider when approaching caregiving from afar.

Limited Visibility Into Daily Life

When you don’t see your loved one regularly, it’s difficult to accurately assess their condition. Phone and video calls can make it harder to spot concerns. Challenges like medication mismanagement, unsafe hazards in the home or financial vulnerability are more easily caught by someone who sees the care recipient in person on a regular basis.

Crisis Management Complications

Emergencies become significantly more stressful when you’re far away, may cause more disruption to work and incur greater travel costs.

Feelings of Guilt

Long-distance caregivers often experience guilt about being so far away. The thought that “I should be there” can become overwhelming, especially if the care recipient shows frustration or distress about the distance.

Increased Costs to Both the Caregiver and Care Recipient

When a caregiver is more than half a day away from their care recipient, they’re more likely to incur additional costs and take more time off work. However, it’s not just the caregiver who takes on additional costs. The care recipient is more likely to need additional paid support compared to those who live within commuting distance from their caregiver.

The Unexpected Advantages of Caregiving from a Distance

There may be more challenges than benefits, but there are some silver linings to consider as well.

Professional Perspective

Long-distance caregivers often approach caregiving with a project-management mindset. The distance can force you to make pragmatic decisions about care needs, financial considerations, and future planning.

Intentional Quality Time

Rather than being consumed by daily caregiving tasks, long-distance caregivers can focus on creating quality experiences when visits do occur.

Broader Support Networks

Distance necessitates building comprehensive local support systems. In an ideal scenario, these networks could provide more diverse assistance than a single primary caregiver could offer alone. This is of course highly variable, depending on the resources in your care recipient’s community.

How Can Caregiving Be Managed From a Distance?

Here are some tips to improve long-distance caregiving:

• Get to know your care recipient’s neighbors and community. Perhaps they’re part of a religious community, or live close to long-time friends. These people can become your inside view into what’s really happening, emergency contact support, and lifelines to managing the day-to-day. Finding trustworthy co-caregivers is key in protecting your loved one.
  
  
• Make an emergency plan. Don’t wait for an emergency to happen. Ensure your care recipient’s health care providers know who to contact and make plans for managing things such as finances and medical decisions well in advance. Have a travel plan in place if possible.
  
  
• Collaborate online. Technology enables better coordination between parties involved in caregiving. This can include everything from project management programs for keeping track of to-do lists, shared calendars, and regular status meetings. If your care recipient needs support in managing finances, multiple people should have oversight, ideally with legal protocols in place.
  
  
• Call often. Your care recipient may get visits from other people, but they want to hear from you. Keeping in touch on a regular, frequent basis will help you overcome feelings of guilt and ensure you’re more involved. You’re more likely to catch concerning changes if you are frequently in touch.

When you’re not the primary caregiver, you can still be a critical support to caregiving

Many families find themselves in a scenario where one family member lives close to the care recipient and provides substantially more support than others. This can result in tension, especially if they experience financial difficulties or health issues because of their role. Here are some tips for being a long-distance co-caregiver.

• Make sure financial responsibilities are equitably shared and protect the primary caregiver’s employment status at all costs.
  
  
• Ensure the primary caregiver gets respite regularly, whether by visiting and taking over or arranging for support.
  
  
• Check in with them to make sure they’re taking care of their own health needs.
  
  
• Do the leg work navigating health care systems, tax benefits and programs, financial management and other tasks that don’t require your physical presence.
  
  
• Thank them and let them know you appreciate the work they do to support your loved one.
  
  

Being Present

Presence can be accomplished from a distance. Being emotionally available, responsive, and committed to supporting your loved one’s wellbeing can be achieved from afar when an intentional approach is taken. Caregiving doesn’t have to be perfect to be effective – it’s about maximizing the benefits of your situation, and finding creative solutions to ensure your loved one gets the care they need.